A Girl's Best Friend?
by MeganKoumori
Summary: After Bonnie eggs her on, Kim starts coveting a diamond of her very own. Meanwhile, Drakken and Shego plot to steal the world's most famous jewel.
1. Chapter 1

1

* * *

Bonnie Rockwaller held out her hand for the crowd to see. With her other arm, she clutched the tall, deeply tanned student with the high cheekbones and black hair. On her finger was a gold band decorated with a large diamond. On either side were two smaller rubies.

"Isn't it totally gorge?" She twisted her hand so it flashed in the fluorescent lighting. "Jumah gave it to me special!" Bonnie smiled smugly. "Rubies for my birthstone, and the diamond…well, Jumah knows I just _love_ diamonds!"

The sea of students parted as Kim and Ron made their way through the crowd. "Excuse us, excuse us…Oh great." She grimaced at the sight of her archrival.

Bonnie's radar went off the chart as she sensed an opportunity to torture the redhead. She struck a snotty pose as she drawled, "What's the matter, K? Are you Jelling?"

"So not! You're blocking the door to anatomy class!" Kim tried to step around her and the tall boy, but Bonnie blocked her path.

"Did you see my ring? Jumah, my boyfriend, gave it to me!" She pushed the teen boy forward slightly. "You have met Jumah, haven't you? He's the new exchange student from Kuwait!" With an air of contempt, she said, "Have _you_ been to Kuwait, Kim?"

"Rescued the Emir when I was twelve." Kim replied in an equally haughty tone. "And he _still_ sends me a birthday card."

"Whatevs!"

Ron nudged her shoulder. "I'm going to grab a table, KP. Don't wanna get stuck by the radiator again."

Rufus poked his head out of Ron's pocket. "Ew-hew stinky!"

"See you inside." Kim said cheerfully. The crowd had begun to disperse. Catching Bonnie's evil eye, she frowned. "What?"

Bonnie circled the redhead like a vulture. "I was just noticing, Kim, that you don't have a ring. I guess Ron doesn't know about the rules of gift giving while dating."

"There are no rules, Bonnie. You just made that up. Besides, I don't need a ring."

Kim tried once again to enter the classroom, but Bonnie put her arm across the doorframe.

"Don't need a ring!" Bonnie echoed. "Did you hear that, Jummy? Kim obviously doesn't know the basics of BF-GF gift giving! Not like us!" She ticked them off on her fingers. "Flowers, candy, jewelry! And the most important is jewelry! Always jewelry above everything else!"

"Shallow much?" The red bell above their head began to ring. "Oh great. Now we're late. Thanks, Bonnie."

"Welcome, Kim. And FYI, _you're_ late. Jummy and I have lunch." Bonnie's cold laugh could be heard down the hall as the two teens left for the cafeteria.

"OOH!" Kim snarled and slammed the classroom door so hard it rattled the lockers.

* * *

"All right, people listen up!" Mr. Barkin bellowed. "As you who weren't sleeping yesterday know, _Stoppable_…" He glared at the blonde.

Ron was pushing a row of paper clips at his and Kim's lab table. He looked up at the mention of his name. "What?"

"Yeah what?" Echoed Rufus, poking his head out of his cargo pants pocket.

Barkin growled. "Anyway, today we're dissecting our squids."

"EWWW!" Shrieked the students.

"I KNOW it's gross!" Barkin yelled. "You think I don't know it's gross! It's totally gross! If it were up to me, we'd be cutting up worms like Upperton! But 'Happy Anatomy Farms' sent us a shipment of squid by mistake! It's either dissect them or serve them for lunch!"

Monique raised her hand. "But Mr. B, wouldn't that be an improvement? You know, calamari?"

"'Happy Anatomy' sent them in formaldehyde." Barkin sighed. "Let's just get this over with!"

Kim grimaced as she held the bag with the dead squid inside. Holding it upside down, the cephalopod slid out of the plastic and onto the tray. "Oh this is so gross!"

There were groans all around as the students began to make their first cuts. Ron clutched his nose. "Bad smell!" He squeaked.

Up by his desk, Barkin looked woozy as the stench of thirteen squids wafted to his desk. "Sweet Mama Patton, that's rank!" He wheezed.

As Ron slit the squid with his scalpel, Kim watched him. _Maybe Bonnie is right. Maybe gifts are an important part of dating…What am I thinking? _She shook her head_. Knock it off, Kim. You're letting Bonnie get to you again._

Suddenly Ron deposited something in her gloved hands. "What's this?"

"I'm not sure," He answered. "I was hoping you could tell me."

Kim held it between her thumb and forefinger. "If I'm reading the picture guide right, it's the lateral mantel artery."

"Oh, 'cause I just cut it off by mistake."

"Ron!" Cried Kim. "That'll cost us points!"

"Sorry, KP."

"Fifteen points to be exact." Said Barkin, suddenly appearing above them. He shook his head and made a mark on his clipboard.

Kim gave Ron the evil eye. He grinned apologetically and shrugged. Kim just sighed.

As Ron started cutting again, Kim rolled the artery between her fingers. _Stupid mantle artery. _She thought. _I don't even know what it's for. Hmm…_The artery was long, thin and rubbery. She folded it around her ring finger and tied the ends in a knot._ Well, it's not a diamond…_If she closed her eyes, she could picture it as a twenty four karat gold ring with a giant gemstone placed just so.

Humming, she began to move back and forth. _"A dream is a wish your heart makes…"_ She murmured. Then louder, _"When you're fast asleep. In dreams, you will lose your heartache. Whatever you wish for, you…"_ Kim suddenly realized she was singing at the top of her voice and twirling. She opened her eyes to find twenty-five other students, a teacher, and one naked mole rat staring at her.

Barkin was sitting back at his desk, looking stunned. Her peers began to snicker. Turning red as a beet, she yanked the artery ring off her finger, pulling the glove along with it. Sitting back down at the lab table, she clutched the top of her head and bored holes in the lab table with her eyes.

"You ok, KP?" Asked Ron.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Good, because I'm not." Kim looked up. Ron was holding up his hands and arms, now covered in puffy, red bumps.

"I think I'm allergic to formaldehyde."

"_Ooh,_ ouchies!" Said Rufus.


	2. Chapter 2

2

* * *

It was three AM as the hover car landed on the roof. Rain began to sprinkle lightly as the top whirred opened.

"Oh great! Figures it would rain the one time I don't pack my umbrella!"

"Quit complaining." The slim girl in green jumped out of the car. "It's barely a drizzle. You wait here and hold the rope."

"Fine by me!" Drakken dug under his seat and pulled out a piece of paper. "Here's what you're after!"

Shego did a double take. "The Faith Diamond!"

"Shh!" Drakken hissed, waving his hands. "Yes, the Faith Diamond! It's crucial to my plan! Why do you think we're at the Jonesonian Museum of Natural History in the first place? To steal a mammoth?"

"All right, shut your pie hole." Shego fired up her hands and using them, carved a hole in the roof.

* * *

The guard was seated on a backless camping chair, reading a newspaper. Behind him, Shego leaped through the ceiling and somersaulted on the ground. Rolling behind a wall, she snuck a peek at the man in uniform.

"Drat. Hmm…" Using her right index finger, she shot a thin green beam over his head. It ricocheted off the wall and into another wing. A faint crash could be heard.

"Oopsie!" But it served her purpose. The guard was already out of the room. The loud echoing footsteps of the other guards could be heard as they bounded down the hall.

Seizing her chance, Shego cart wheeled to the display case and through the red beams. Kneeling down, she pressed her face to the glass. The diamond inside glittered red from the reflection of the beams. "Hello, Beautiful!" Carefully, she began to cut a hole in the pane with her finger…

"STOP!" Shouted a voice. "Thief! Thief!" Alarms began to blare.

Shego gritted her teeth and growled. "Aw, forget it!" She blasted the case. It shattered into a hundred pieces; the diamond flew through the air.

"Catch it, Moron!" One of the guards yelled, pushing another forward. He dashed through the large room, his hands spread wide.

"I got it!"

Shego jumped. Flying through the air, she pushed herself off his head and grabbed the giant gem.

"Sorry, Pops, but you don't got it!" Landing on the floor, she sprinted towards the hole where a rope was dangling.

Grabbing hold with one hand, she tucked the diamond under her arm. As the cable pulled up, she blew a kiss with her free hand.

"Bye! Thanks for the ice!"

* * *

As the hover car flew away, Drakken could be heard saying, "You know, you really ought to lay off dessert for awhile, Shego. How am I supposed to pull you up when you weigh as much as Dumbo?"

Then, "Ouch! Stop hitting me with the diamond! I take it back! Ouch!"


	3. Chapter 3

3

* * *

Kim couldn't tell where she was. It was dark and there was no ground. Come to think of it, there was nothing. Just darkness.

"What's the matter, Sugar?" Said a voice.

Kim twisted her body to the best of her ability. "Marilyn Monroe? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help you," Marilyn floated over. She was dressed in a hot pink gown with a giant bow on the back. She had matching pink gloves and sparkling bangles around her neck and wrists. "You look down."

"It's my boyfriend."

"Well, tell Marilyn all about it. After all," She winked. "I know a thing or two about men."

"He's sweet and funny and everything's great, but I've been thinking…about jewelry." She began to babble. "Does jewelry cement a relationship? Or is that totally shallow? I like jewelry, and I'd really, really Ron to give me a ring, so does that make _me_ shallow? Or maybe…"

Marilyn laughed. "Oh Kimmie, you're not shallow! What you're feeling is perfectly natural!"

"It is?"

"Of course." Marilyn floated backwards to a light switch, which Kim could've sworn wasn't there a minute ago. "After all, diamonds are a girl's best friend."

The light came on. There was still no ground, but now everything was light pink.

Kim was no longer in her jammies, but a silvery white dress with a large skirt and clear glass slippers. Around her neck was a black choker, and up her arms were white gloves. Her hair was in a tight bun.

Rufus, wearing a little black bow tie, floated by sitting at a tiny piano. "Hi!"

"Rufus?" Said Kim stupefied. "Where did you come from? What's going on?"

The rodent didn't answer, but began to play an upbeat tune on the keys. Marilyn was holding a microphone. She began to sing.

"_A kiss on the hand may be quite continental. But diamonds are a girl's best friend!"_

Now Ron was floating in the cotton candy colored abyss. He was wearing a periwinkle suit.

"_A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental on your humble flat, or help you at the automat…"_

"Ron, what's…" Before she could finish, Ron grabbed her gloved hand and spun her. Around and around and around until Kim was almost a blur. "Whoawhoawhoawhoa…" Then he grabbed her around the waist and began to lead in a tango.

_"Men grow cold as girls grow old and we all lose our charms in the end…"_

"Don't drop me!" Cried Kim as Ron dipped her. He reached up and grabbed a long rope that stretched into the infinitude.

_"But square cut or pear shaped, these rocks don't lose their shape…"_

Ron yanked on the rope and a shower of shimmering solitaires began to rain. On Kim. "Ow!"

"_Diamonds…are…a…girl's…best…frienddddd!"_

Kim brushed the diamonds off her dress and out of her hair. Suddenly she was aware of a large shadow falling over her.

Turning, her eyes nearly popped out of her head. A giant squid was behind her, glaring.

"Where's my mantle artery?" He boomed in a voice that sounded eerily like Barkin's.

"What?" Squeaked Kim.

"Minus fifteen points!" He roared. Then he began to beep…

* * *

As Kim began to waken, she could hear her Kimmunicator beeping on her nightstand. Blinking, she sat up. There was no squid, no Marilyn. It had all been a dream.

"Seventeen years old and I'm losing my mind." Said Kim as she picked up the device. "Wade?"

"Sorry to wake you," Said Wade. "But I just a got a hit on the site."

Kim picked up her Pandaroo and snuggled it in the crook of her arm. "What up?"

"The Jonesonian Museum of Natural History has just been robbed," Reported Wade. "Get this! The crooks made off with the Faith Diamond, Kim! The legendary Faith Diamond!"

"Ironic much."

"Huh?"

"Never mind." Kim swung her legs over the side of the bed. "Just call Ron and make sure he's ready."


	4. Chapter 4

4:

* * *

Kim unbuckled her seatbelt as Air Force One landed. "Thanks for the lift, Mr. President!"

"No problem, Kim. If you hadn't helped settle that debate in the Senate, we'd never have gotten that bill passed. You know, Kim, you oughta consider running for president yourself one day."

"Me, president?" Kim acted embarrassed. "No way! I mean, I've never thought about it…"

"Never thought about it?" Echoed Ron. "In Kindergarten you dressed up as George Washington for Career Day!"

"That's enough, Ron!" Kim said through her teeth as she grabbed his arm. "Let's go!"

As Ron began to descend the steps behind her, the President called out, "Just one moment please, Ronald."

Ron turned. "Yes, Mr. President?"

The President drummed his fingers on his arm rest. "I believe you have my Nacos."

Ron grinned abashed. "Oh, these?" He laughed, pulling a Bueno Nacho bag out from behind his back. "How'd these get here?"

Rufus climbed up on Ron's shoulder. He slid his right pointer claw against his left three times. "Shame, shame!" He scolded.

* * *

Outside, Kim breathed in the air. "Ah, good old Washington! I love it here! It's as American as apple pie!"

"Yeah. Hey," Said Ron. "After we're done, can we stop by the Space Needle restaurant? I wanna try the SkyCity Burger!"

"Tillamook Cheese!" Cheered Rufus.

"That's in Washington state, Ron." Said Kim, consulting her map. "Not DC. Anyway, you need a reservation."

"Wait," Said Ron. "Washington DC's not a state?"

"No, it's a federal district."

"What? That makes no sense! Why not just make it a state?"

"It's too small to be a state," Replied Kim. "Rhode Island's bigger!"

"Well, why not make it a part of Maryland?"

"I don't know! Because the other states would be jealous!" Kim snapped. Jealous. That brought her back to yesterday. Bonnie and Jumah and that stupid ring…

_I am so not jealous!_ Kim thought obstinately. She twisted the map in her hands. "I am not jealous and I am not shallow! Even Marilyn said it was normal!"

"What are you talking about?" Asked Ron. "And since when can states talk?"

"Not Maryland, Mari…Forget it." Kim stuffed the map in her pocket. "Come on, we got a date with the Jonesonian Museum!"

* * *

Two harried looking men in suits were examining the damage. "Gone!" One, who was wearing an ugly toupee, moaned. "How could this have happened?"

"There, there," The other said reassuringly. He wore thick glasses on his tiny button nose. "Kim Possible will here soon!"

"How about now?" The two men turned. The one wearing the wig rushed over to her, the other close behind.

"Miss Possible!" He grabbed her hand and shook it warmly. "Thank you for coming! As you can tell, we're really in a stew!"

"No big," Replied Kim, flipping her bright red hair over her shoulder. "The Jonesonian will have its diamond back in no time!"

"We certainly hope so," Said the other. He pulled off his coke bottle frames and wiped them on his jacket. "The paparazzi are having a holiday with this scandal! If it's not recovered soon…"

"We'll both lose our jobs!" Finished the other.

"Have you got any clues?"

"Just the security videos," Said the first. "But it's no use. Our experts have been all over it, and we still can't even tell if the culprit's male or female!"

"Let's just take a peek. Let's go, Ron. Ron?" Kim turned. "Where'd he go?"

* * *

Ron stared into the glass where the wax mannequins were displayed. The caveman on the inside, bent over on his knuckles like a gorilla, had freckles and large ears. His lower lip stuck over under bushy brows.

"I dunno Rufus," Ron looked down at his pocket where the rat had his head poked out. "But something about this guy looks familiar."

Rufus shuddered. "Ew, creepy!"

"Not a bad looking dummy though!"

Rufus grinned at the Saber-toothed Naked Mole Rat that was hanging out of the caveman's pelt pocket. He made a thumb up gesture. "Uh-huh!"

* * *

The two curators and Kim stood before a large machine, covered with monitors. The one in the toupee bent over and typed something in. "See," He said as the figure on the screen bounded and cart wheeled to the display. "It's useless."

Kim was already on her Kimmunicator. "Do you think you can work some magic, Wade?"

The chubby preteen cracked his knuckles. "It's as easy as Advanced Boolean Logic!"

"Say what?"

"Never mind." Wade sighed. "Just hook up the Kimmunicator."

Kim attached the little blue device to the monitor with a cable. "Well? Anything?"

Wade's fingers were a blur as he processed the video. The fuzzy screen began to disintegrate. "Shego!" He cried triumphantly.

"No surprise," Muttered Kim. "That room was trashed." Aloud she said, "You're out of this world, Wade!"

"Aw, shucks! Tweren't nothing, Lil' Lady!" Wade joked.

Kim shut off the Kimmunicator. "Gentlemen, the Faith Diamond is as good as home again!"


	5. Chapter 5

5:

* * *

Drakken cackled as he studied the diamond with a jeweler's eyepiece. "It's flawless! Absolutely flawless!"

Shego was reclining belly down on his desk. "I know! It's perfect!" She sat up and rubbed her hands together. "So what's the agenda? Black market? Evilbay? I hear Senor Senior Senior collects diamonds! I bet he'd pay us a fortune!"

"Try none of the above, Shego." Drakken pushed out his chair and crossed to the other side of the room.

"Oh? Then what _is_ the plan?"

Drakken opened the door to a large gray machine and threw the gem inside. "I'm going to crush it!"

Shego nearly fell off the desk. "What?" She shouted. "Are you insane?"

Drakken pushed a few buttons. "That's the only way to get the boron from inside."

"I don't care if there's a rafter of turkeys inside!" Shego hollered as she jumped off the desk. "You can't destroy it! It's worth more money than we can count!"

"The Faith Diamond has more boron than any other stone in the world. And as you know, boron is a crucial ingredient in several different types of fuel."

"I didn't know that."

"Well, now you do." Said Drakken. "After the diamond is crushed, I will extract the boron slurry. Then, I'll finally have the power source that'll make Death Ray XYZ½ a success!" He laughed maniacally.

"Ok, ok." Shego interrupted. "Lemmee get this straight: You plan to destroy the most precious gem in the world just so you can power up a ray gun?"

"Death ray, Shego, not ray gun. There's a difference."

"With the money you could get from selling the diamond, you could buy enough death rays to fill this entire lair to the ceiling!"

Drakken held up a yellow empty shell of a gun. "But not Death Ray XYZ½!" He petted it fondly. "She's my baby!" He turned back to the machine, which was now purring like a kitten. "Just forty more seconds, and I'll have my slurry. Thirty-nine, thirty-eight…"

"Sorry, Doctor D." Said Shego. She balled up her fist.

"Thirty-five, thirty-four…Oof!" As Shego's knuckles made contact with the back of Drakken's skull, he slumped to the floor.

Shego smiled wickedly as she turned off the machine, then opened the door and pulled out the diamond. "But this little darling and I have plans!" She laughed long and loud.

* * *

Three hours later:

Kim hoisted herself up over the cliff and reached down to give Ron a hand. "Thanks, Kim." He panted, pulling himself up. "Do you really think they'll be here? Drakken just stole the world's most valuable diamond! Don't you think he'd find a new lair?" Ron spread his arms. "He might as well post a neon sign that says, 'Here Am I!'"

"Fortunately for us, Drakken's not that bright." Kim steadied herself then made a flying leap towards the door.

Inside, Drakken was sitting in his armchair, holding an ice pack to his head. The door flew open. "Give it up, Drakken!" Cried Kim valiantly. "Hand over the Faith Diamond!"

Drakken groaned and looked at her blandly. "I don't have it."

"Hah!" Ron laughed and pointed. "You think we're dumb enough to fall for that old trick?"

Drakken stood up, keeping the ice pack on his head. "Look, I'm telling you, I don't have it! Shego conked me in the head and stole it! Go find her!" He slumped back down in the chair.

Kim and Ron looked at each other.

"Now if you don't mind, I have a migraine, so can we save the 'Kung Fu Wa-Ha Bam Bam Drakken Goes Splat' for another day?"

"All right," Kim said. "Sorry to bother you."

As she exited, Ron said, "You know, for a migraine, you really should lay in a completely dark room with a cold, wet cloth over your eyes and forehead. That's what works for my…Hey!" He cried as Kim pulled him outside.


	6. Chapter 6

6:

* * *

On the plane, Kim sat back in her seat. "Shego will probably want to sell the diamond to the highest bidder, Wade." She said. "So keep your eyes peeled for large gatherings of villains, suspicious conventions, and check Evilbay."

"Got it." Agreed Wade.

As Kim signed off, Ron said, "You know that saying, 'Keep your eyes peeled'? That's so gross! Conjures up some pretty nasty images if you know what I mean!"

"Gross, gross, gross!" Said Rufus.

Kim shuddered. "Ew."

Ron was lounging in his chair, reading a book. "Whatcha got there?" Asked Kim.

"Oh this?" Said Ron. "I picked it up at the Jonesonian Gift Shop. It's a complete history of the Faith Diamond."

"Really?" Kim slid over next to Ron. "Wow, look at those pictures!"

"I don't know what you're so impressed about! They're not even in color!"

"Ron," Said Kim. "These pictures were taken around the turn of the century!"

"So? That was only seven years ago!"

"I mean…" Kim shook her head. "Never mind."

Ron took a slurp of his drink. "Want some?"

"Thanks." Kim took a sip. "You know Ron, it would be nice to have a diamond like that."

"I dunno, Kim. Sounds pretty girly."

"What about when you had the Naco Royalties?"

"That was different!" Said Ron. "I was rich! Only girls and rich guys wear diamonds!"

"So not true!" Kim sat back. Trying again, she said, "You know, I wouldn't mind a diamond!"

"Yep."

"A nice one. It wouldn't even have to be on a ring! I could wear it on a necklace or a bracelet! And it wouldn't have to be big either!" Under her breath, she muttered darkly, "As long as it's bigger than Bonnie's."

Ron closed the book and looked at her. "Kim, what are you…"

Rufus climbed up the armrest and onto his shoulder. "Hello?" He jabbered. "Hint, hint!"

"Oh!" Said Ron, a light going on in his head. _"Oh!"_ He narrowed his eyes. "You want me to buy you a diamond?"

"Well, it would be nice…"

Ron stood up. "I can't believe you!"

"What?"

"A diamond, KP? I don't even have enough money for a car, and you want me to buy you a diamond?"

Kim frowned. "It was just a suggestion! Bonnie's boyfriend bought her one!"

"Oh so that's it!"

"What's it?"

"This is about Bonnie! You just want a diamond to compete with her!"

"So not!"

"So so!" Retorted Ron. "I'm going to the back of the plane. Call me when we get home." He and Rufus disappeared behind the blue curtain.

Kim picked up the book and stared at the diamond on the cover. Then she hurled it at the wall and collapsed in her seat.

Wade's voice broke through her pocket. "Kim, Kim! I know where Shego is!"


	7. Chapter 7

7:

* * *

The taxi halted in front of the tall tawny hotel to let its passengers out. "This had better be worth it." Said Monkey Fist, climbing out. "I was at a rally to help save the endangered Bald Uakari."

"Aye, " Agreed Duff Killigan, jumping out behind him. "The Lassie wouldn't even tell us what we be biddin' on."

"Are you sure we're at the right building?" Monkey Fist looked at his invitation. "This hardly looks like the place to…"

Duff tugged on his arm and pointed. "This be the place, all right. See the sign?"

A black board written upon in chalk was propped outside the door. "'Today only: Villain's Auction in the Schooley Suite.'" Read Monkey Fist. "How considerate."

* * *

Shego leaned over her podium, twirling her gavel between her fingers. She whistled a tune as the villains assembled and took their seats in the hard folding chairs. "Are we all here?" She called.

"What on Earth did you call us for?" Called Monkey Fist.

"Is it a new genetic modifier? Mine's on the brink!" Said DNAmy.

"Much better!" On the table, next to the podium was a bright green cloth covering a cylindrical object. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the one, the only…" Shego yanked the cloth away. The diamond was underneath a glass jar. "Faith Diamond!"

"Ooh!" Said the crowd.

Monkey Fist stood up. "That's why we're here? To see this bort?"

"Are you daft, Man?" Said Killigan.

"That's the Faith Diamond!" Added Falsetto Jones.

"It's the most flawless jewel in the world!" Said Senor Senior Senior.

"Please!" Monkey Fist crossed his hairy arms. "My goal is to be the Ultimate Monkey Master. What could I possibly want with a diamond?"

"Never mind him!" Falsetto stood up. "I'll pay five million dollars!"

"Pocket change!" Said Senor. "I'll pay twenty million!"

"Twenty-one million!" Called Duff.

"Twenty-one million going once…"

"Twenty-five million!"

"Thirty million!"

"How about nothing!" Called a new voice. The audience turned to see Drakken at the door. He stomped down the aisle and to the podium.

Shego grinned sheepishly, red creeping slowly up on her face. "Oh, hey Doctor D…"

"That's my diamond!" Drakken shouted. "I stole it fair and square! It belongs to me!"

"I stole it for you!" Countered Shego. "Therefore, it belongs to me to do whatever I want with it!"

* * *

The dark red sedan drove down the road. Kim leaned forward so she could talk to the driver. "Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Tug!"

"It's the least I can do Kim," Said the shorthaired brunette. "After you help deliver my Skipper's puppies!"

"It's no big," Said Kim. "I'm so glad she won 'Best in Sporting Breed!'"

"And she's competing in another show next month!" Said Mrs. Tug.

As Kim inclined between the two front seats, a flash caught her eye. "That's a pretty ring, Mrs. Tug."

"Here we go again." Muttered Ron. He was curled up by the window with his feet on the seat.

Kim ignored him. "It's a diamond, right?"

Mrs. Tug smiled proudly. "Why, yes it is. My husband gave it to me for our tenth anniversary last month!"

"So it's not your wedding ring?"

"Oh, it is." Said Mrs. Tug. "But when we were first married, we couldn't afford a diamond, so I wore a plain gold band for ten years."

"Aha!" Ron cried triumphantly. "I knew diamonds were expensive!"

"Ron, shush." Said Kim. "That didn't bother you?"

"No," Said Mrs. Tug, slowing down to the curb. "After all, a diamond's just a diamond. It's the love that it represents that makes it special."

There was a deafening silence in the car. "Kim, Ron? Are you two all right?"

"Here we are!" Kim said suddenly. The car stopped in front of the hotel. Ron opened the door and both teens stepped out.

Kim bent down to the open window. "Thanks again, Mrs. Tug. Really, thanks a lot!"


	8. Chapter 8

8:

* * *

Drakken slumped in his folding chair. "I can't believe you're making me bid on my own diamond!"

"My diamond." Said Shego.

"My diamond!" Echoed Falsetto. "Thirty-five million!"

"I'll pay fifty million!" Shouted Senor Senior.

Drakken jumped out of his chair. "I'll pay one hundred million!"

The room was silent. Shego cleared her throat. "Doctor D, you don't have one hundred million!"

"Says you!" Shouted Drakken, pointing at her.

"Drakken," Said Shego, irritation rising in her voice. "I do your _books_!"

"Whoops." Drakken laughed nervously. "Um, can I give you a rain check?"

"How about a pain check?" The crowd turned to see Kim and Ron at the door.

"Pain check!" Ron laughed. "I get it! Nice one, KP!"

"Really? I thought it was kind of corny…"

Shego leaped on the podium, her hands afire. "Get them!" She ordered. Jumping off the platform, she charged at Kim. Kim braced herself in a defensive position and blocked Shego's blow.

As the two tussled (And the other villains joined in) Drakken crawled towards the table. He pulled the jar off the diamond.

"Come to Papa!" He said as he grabbed the gem. "Soon, Death Ray XYZ½ will be the most powerful weapon in the world!" He laughed.

Falsetto had turned towards him. "Look! He's got the diamond!"

"Get him!" Drakken shrieked like a girl as plasma fire and exploding golf balls flew at his head.

"Stop! Help!" He cried as he ducked.

The door flew open and an angry man in a gray suit marched in, followed by security guards. "What is going on in here?"

* * *

The villains and two teens walked dejectedly out of the hotel. "I can believe they banned us for life!" Said Ron.

"Aye," Said Duff. "And they had such a lovely seafood buffet!"

Kim took the diamond out of Drakken's hands. "I'll take that!"

Drakken looked at the pack of super villains behind him. "Well, isn't anyone going to stop her?"

"No," Said Duff. "I've had enough for today."

"It's not worth it." Said DNAmy.

"She's right," Agreed Falsetto. "After all, it's just a diamond."

"Does anyone have a craving for pasta?" Said Senor Senior Junior suddenly. "I saw this quaint little Italian bistro down the street!"

"Ok."

"Why not?"

"Do they serve banana splits for dessert?" The horde of bad guys turned and walked away.

"Italian! Yum!" Cried Ron, starting to follow. Kim grabbed his arm.

"Well, what about you two?" She said.

"Are you kidding?" Said Drakken. "I'm going to go get some Tortellini."

"What about Death Ray XY-Whatever?" Asked Shego.

"I'll think about that later." Said Drakken. "Right now, I'm starved!"

Kim was studying the Faith Diamond, which she now held in her gloves. "Well KP, you're now holding the world's most valuable diamond." Said Ron, sticking his hands in his pockets. "It's big enough to make Bonnie squirm. How do you feel?"

"Totally blah."

"What?" Said Ron. "I don't get it! A couple hours ago, you were all up in my grill about buying you a ring and now, you suddenly don't care?"

"I was hardly up in your grill, Ron." Said Kim. "They're right. It _is_ just a diamond."


	9. Chapter 9

9:

* * *

It was after school, and Bueno Nacho was full of high schoolers. Ron set down his tray at the usual table. "Here you go, KP." He handed her a round white package. "I got you a cinnamon cookie."

"Aw, you're so sweet!"

"Ooh!" Chorused two voices from behind. "Kim's in love!"

"Tweebs!" Kim twisted in the booth and squatted at her brothers. They laughed and ducked.

Kim turned back around. "Sorry I was such a spaz about the diamond thing, Ron. I guess I really was jealous."

"Don't sweat it, Kim. I overreacted. And I know how Bonnie gets under your skin."

"No," said Kim, unwrapping her cookie. "Gifts should be from the heart, not just because I want one."

Ron reached in his pocket. "I got you something."

"Another cookie?"

"Better." Ron slid a small gold box across the table.

"Oh Ron, you shouldn't have. After the way I acted, I don't deserve it."

"Don't worry about it. Just open it up."

Rufus jumped up on the table. "Open, open!"

Kim took off the lid. "Ron, it's so pretty!" She pulled out a silver necklace with a dangling green pendant in the shape of a teardrop. "Is it an emerald?"

"No, its called demantoid, which is just a fancy name for a green garnet." Ron flushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, my grandpa gave it to my grandma when they were our age. It's not a diamond, but I thought you would like it because it matches your eyes…" Realizing what he'd just say, Ron burned even redder and cried loudly, "Not that I'd noticed, because I'm a guy, and guys don't pay attention to that kind of stuff!"

Kim's cheeks turned a pleasant shade of pink. "Ron, _you_ really are a girl's best friend!" The two leaned forward with their lips pursed…

"Marriage!" In the back, Bonnie shrieked, interrupting the moment. "What you mean marriage?"

"Did you not know that the ring I bought was an engagement ring?" Asked Jumah.

"No! Are you insane?"

"The Koran allows my the men in my culture up to four wives. I wanted you to be my second wife, after the one my father has already betrothed me to."

"You're engaged already!" Bonnie squawked. "No way! No way am I going to play second fiddle to some nobody! And as for your silly Kor-whatever it is, I don't care what it says! Four wives is a stupid idea!"

Jumah's cheeks turned crimson. "First you insult my religion, then my family's tradition!" He said angrily. "You are not fit to be my wife! We're through!"

"Fine!"

Jumah stalked away, then back. "And give me my ring!"

Bonnie held it to her chest. "Can't I keep it?"

Kim turned back to Ron. "Ouch."

"Bummer." Agreed Ron. He passed her his cup. "Soda?"

"Thanks."


	10. Epilog

Epilog:

* * *

Note: I know I said it was complete yesterday, but this morning I got this idea for an epilog, and I just can't help myself. Try not to make too much sense out of it; it's just for fun.

* * *

Drakken floated in the dark nothingness. "Um, hello? What's going on? Shego? Anyone?"

"What's the matter, Drewbie?" Said a deep voice.

Drakken jumped. "Don't call me that!" He shouted. "Who…Whoever you are! I demand you come out and show yourself!"

The lights flickered on. Drakken was no longer in his jammies, but a velvet white shirt with gold tassels on the shoulders. His pants were tomato red.

"What…How…" He rubbed a tassel in his fingers. "Ooh, shiny!"

A shadow fell over him. Turning, Drakken's jaw dropped to the floor with a loud _clang_.

A giant squid, clad in a bowtie, was behind him.

It wrapped a tentacle around Drakken. "Let's dance!" It cried. It began to shake Drakken back and forth. _"A kiss on the hand may be quite continental. But diamonds are a girl's best friend…"_

"NOOOOOOO!" Screamed Drakken.

* * *

Drakken woke in a panicked sweat. "Bad Squid! Go away!" He yelled. He looked around. "Huh?" Slumping on his pillow, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Just a dream!" Then he pushed back the sheets.

* * *

Pushing open the door to Shego's room, Drakken shone his flashlight around the small chamber. The beam hit the bed where Shego was sleeping. Her face scrunched in the light. "What?" She blinked, then covered her eyes. "What's going on?"

"Um, Shego…" Drakken said, meekly.

"What?" She snapped. "It's three in the morning!"

"I know! I just had a bad dream and…"

"And?"

"Well…I wondering…" Drakken smiled hopefully. "Could you make me some Cocoa Moo?"

He shrieked as a plasma beam nearly took off his head. Running for cover, he shouted, "You could've said no!"


End file.
